Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Learned - 7th Dec 2010

I love you.
I can never hold your hands for long enough.
I'm dreaming again,
While awake in your imaginary arms.
I've been rubbed out again,
I've walked into the distance.
You said I was the broken man,
Explained to me what I do wrong.
Does it help to know I cry
that I'm not so like you believe.
Does it help to know I fall down,
that I'm not so strong,
and that I need you too...

Sunday, 22 August 2010

Right now - 22 August 2010

The loneliest and hardest moments are when you realise just who you are; Where you come from, and what you have to offer.

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

R.I.P. - 14th July 2010

Death should have no space.
No room to be. To carry its motion.
It shouldn't hold place aside for loved ones.
Why do we allow it to construct,
Give it chance to take us whole.
Who gave it permission.
Who gave it this chance.
It can lye beside ME,
Making its mark and feeding all the while.

but leave them be.

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Porcelain Princess - 8th June 2010

Beat me.
Hit me.
Show me how
pretty I can be.

Shout at me.
Tell me true.
Am I really
worthy of you.

Touch me.
Rape me.
Show me just
what I'm worth.

Get drunk.
Get high.
Get to slap me
around on the fly.

On the floor.
I cannot lie.
On the floor.
I sleep so perfect.
My porcelain skin,
it won't crack today.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Nothing, as the same. - 29th May 2010 (The Wombats-Moving to New York)

I've just had the craziest of nights,
It took me all around this place.
With nothing the same,
Yet every step taken.
How do you find yourself asleep,
With the world out there buzzin'.
So I decided to run this place
cus I've got problems with myself.
Problems with myself.

We'll take this place.
We take every moment.
And I'll catch you in my camera.
Take you away with me.
Me away from you.
Yeah, we'll run this place together.

So, I've just got off the phone,
and he told me not to worry.
He told me it'd all be ok.
Yet every step I take
Every second I am
Just feels the same as before.
So I'm leaving this place,
Leaving you all alone.
I'm going to run this life myself.

So lets take this place.
Lets take every minute.
Capture it all in your pictures.
I'll take it all with me.
Run your world from afar.
Yeah, why can't we just escape.

The craziest of nights,
Walking all around this place.
Yet nothing's the same.
I don't know why I walked and I ran
this maze you made for us.
With the world outside still buzzin'.
I find myself still runnin',
This damn maze you've made.
This maze you made for us.
Just now I'm by myself.

Wednesday, 26 May 2010

SFP - 22nd May 2010

Sinking feeling.
Diving solution.
You've got to swallow it,
Take it with a hard heart.
Keep it safe, lavish yourself
with stimulus.
Try confuse the situation.
Begin to lie to yourself,
All the while try and be
the same person you always were-

Poisonous to your ears,
She'll eat you.
Like a vemon she'll creep.
Climb up on you.

Wednesday, 31 March 2010

The Narcissist Within Our Misanthrope Class - 31st March 2010

I'm confused by (read: confined to) an open state of mind:
To be a narcissistic misanthrope, and for it to cause any issue.

Surely in its true entirety there cannot be a problem. The problem comes from being aware of other opinions, and wanting to fit in or be recognised. Which objectifies your belief in being self-loving, egotistical and also, in mistrusting other persons. With a hatred possibly growing given further thought to those around.

Proof a misanthrope is also [naturally] a narcissist:
In a line of ideas then- To have such distaste, mistrust; At times overwhelming contempt. One might perhaps view themselves as an opposite. As the class of misanthrope does not necessitate self-loathing. In such cases, to be greater than your other worldly men, you cannot deny a certain self-belief, conceit, vanity.

To paraphrase Aristotle: 'the misanthrope, as an essentially solitary man, is not a man at all: he must be a beast or a god.'

beast of a god :: god of beasts

Back to how I began, on being a narcissistic misanthrope and it possibly causing issue. I change this to 'A misanthrope is to have no troubles with oneself: Easier living.' Unless one misanthrope is also ostentatious.
It would just be the outside other's need to prevail, introduce the image of superiority in their own mind. An ambition not to be slighted, it should be noted!

Of an ostentatious misanthrope:
Where might there lay a true romantic. Surely not caught inside a self inflicted barrier of generalised disgust at humankind?

Freezing - 31st March 2010

I don't believe in warmth.
Everything is frozen.
It's a hidden parallel,

[Caught in a twirling divide.]

Heat is just your movement,
So lets stand still.
Wait for the freeze
to help us feel alive.

Now I can't believe in living warm.
I find help in living cold.
I find trust in something so still.
A complete freedom in you.

I cannot hurt here.
You couldn't hate me either.

Keep the people at a distance.
I dislike what they'll see of me.
So still.
Not believing in the warmth..

Friday, 19 March 2010

Oh, the single - 19th March 2010

I saw you swirling
in your blues and blacks.
I caught you singing
to that reflection again.

When you thought no one was looking...
You told yourself you were always alone...

You kept falling in and out of love,
in and around the desires of it.
Just to be held for once.
So please don't go.
So please just hold out.

I'll try, I'll beg.
I'd plead for your warmth,
I will cling to your hand.
You can guide me,
take me home, or lead me away.

You're growing older, with your utter distaste.
He's glaring at you, your bedroom no longer empty.

Now you long..
To be swirling in your colours.
Today you caught your reflection.
You were dreaming of that song.

The one you'd sing to smile.

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

A minute to write : 21:29:08 - 21:30:10 - 17th March 2010

I hear those words
"you're barely breathing tonight"

It echoes a chore of those days
of these nights, and of your silence.
Side to side we lay,
In your arms we'd be apart.
Always slept facing away from you,
such disgust, and such fear.

Maybe, just maybe
You'll be barely breathing tonight.
[to hear you]

Monday, 8 March 2010

My River - (8h March 2010)

Running in, winter shades of smile
and I listen to your stories
of a life from today.
I rest and I'll take and I'll take.
Hum all along, to this river of song.
I watched as your flag drowned..

And to be caught in with you,
I'd pray for the heavens to fall.
I'd pray at least, for the skies to collapse..
If I was to be given a part of you,
I'm sure we'd know.

I Lay - (8th March 2010)

I can lay,
In my bliss for this minute.
And I can sit,
Wide awake for a week or two..
I'm [t]here for your fall.
and I'm wide awake for your
late night tears.
I hate your anger,
Disgusted by your lusting desire.

Why was your need
of collapsing control?
Of Blue, Red, Green anger.
Who was your immense
dreamful bliss..
Unclear, and please,
just please don't go..
- try

Thursday, 4 March 2010

Who Were We - (4th March 2010)

There once was a place,
Of such unbelievable beauty.
People would walk and run from a far..
They'd give it all to visit this place.
Just once in their life.
Yet with every breath,
With every footstep.
Each inch they'd travel,
Every word that was muttered-
It was slowly dying.
They knew it,
They all knew it.
Yet they came in their masses,
So they wouldn't miss the last.
Just then,
in a moments dream,

Aquarium - (4th March 2010)

Am I such to be trapped-
To be your admiration.
Am I alone in here-
Figured silohette of my home.
Do you smile in my tears-
Am I worth every penny.
How do I feel-
To see from afar.
What must your world be like-
Free as I once was...

Monday, 1 March 2010

suppose - (1st March 2010)

I propose that I was unsure of your state.
For I didn't really understand or figure in time.
Supposing perhaps an hours recovery.
Or a week to brew yourself.

Whatever was hidden in the starlit night.
Racing the streaks of heaven.
Could you ever have been one
to whisper while I slept.

This ride is so lonesome without you.
Just remember for when I am home again,
To smile and maybe force a laugh.
Try recall when you and I were happy.

And please keep my swan song close

Tuesday, 23 February 2010

A ... - (21st Feb 2010)

Am I such that you cannot.
Did I lay in wait too short,
Or perhaps my hands were too cold.
I know your name, your likes.
Hell. I know your smile
and when to listen.
But you won't say anything,
So I stand like a statue.
So I feel that of a stone.
Maybe I'm your spider..

Could I be your forgotten so quick instead-
Or can you be my lustful moment.
I'm catching feathers of snow,
Someone's melted dreamland..
Yet I can't work out the theme tune.
Yet I...

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Colours - (7th March 2003)

I'm waiting for the
Just before the
I'm staring at the
I'm looking for your
Yours is the one,
Just before it goes
Yours is the one,
That we all stand and

Just promise me
You won't float away so fast
If i was a cloud,
You'd be my

Take me away.
With you.

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

1 - (11th Nov 2009)

Slowly.. You're closing me down,
Gripping me.
Your fist is climbing down,
It's thrusting itself in.

My hands feel raw
My throat
a carved desire.
Yet my mind is bleeding.
Believing becomes a chore,
My sphere just shatters.

Seeing you smile is my light
Hearing you laugh is my valentine song

Monday, 15 February 2010

Mirrors love story - (15/02/2010)

I always wanted to write a story.
Possibly on a life.
A love story, involving a hundred people.
Listen to their thoughts through the moment they met their true love.

I had wanted to try,
Try to paint.
Illustrate a poem. My story of people.
I'd love a life drawing of your smile.
and a burnt image attached.

I once made a blue-tak sculpture,
It was you. Standing beside yourself
holding a gun to your mirrors temple.

Message.. - (2003 - history)

I feel like more
I am their everything.
Love me
Become what i want of you
Never compare to the least.
You are mine.
A slave to my doing.
And you'll always fall short
And you'll always be my failing
You're just not good enough.
Love me. Love me. Love me. [Love me..,]

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

They're screaming - (3rd Feb 2010)

Im not sure if I should have that scene so arousing in my mind.
It was sick, it was wrong. However, the abusive nature. Pure love in the actions. Together made it beautiful. , I am a silhouette of smile.
You'd lied, and I'd listened. I'd found your desire so pure, so true to heart that I could do nothing but smile. You had lied.
I can taste your tongue. Your saliva. Hold your lips between my teeth. I've got your wrists, my legs across yours. Bite down.

You are running short of life now. I'm here for the last breath. I am here to hold your soul.

Friday, 22 January 2010

What to say - (22nd Jan 2010)

I'm not suprized
by a maze of words
and whispers. Of miscommunicated lines.
(subtle/faked/forgotten.or.forceful) touching.

You won't see me startled
or confused by your muse.
It's all in my stride,
It's all your [laughable] pride.

One minute's loose.
and lasting.
An ocean of misanthropy.

'Cus you're always to be mine.
As the lies always spoke
themselves. Top happy.

.. and we smile

Red Tin Can - 22/01/2010

If love is caught in a coke can,
Then perhaps bubbles
our thoughts.

and then the ring-pull your wanting lust.

His name wasn't James, or Dave.
but her name was Carmen,
and she'd learn to enjoy him.

A little force, and a lot of power.
Relentless energy.
Culminating in a crime confused.

The outside tin may wonder,
If lust is needed..
Might it really be lust.

Then the bubbles are gone. and so was she.

Monday, 11 January 2010

Hours - (7th May 2003)

A cold breeze caresses me,
As the warming sun shines down upon my pale skin.
From here i can see for miles
Blue skies that stretch forever
With shimmers of whispering clouds in white.
Looking over at a play park,
I watch as children enjoy.
Those distant blooming flowers caught up in
The haze of friendship called Nature.
A single runner, taking advantage of this world.
Inside a single day, ever of blissful hours.
So many pass it by.
Always in such a hurry to live their life.
I could fall in love with a day,
Watch a perfect ending.
For it to be born again soon.

Roses - (7th June 2003)

Roses are Red,
You're looking Blue.
I'm staying right here,
To be with you!

Missed.. - (28th Aug 2003)

I'm sure i was meant to hit.
I can't always miss my chance,
To prove.
Maybe i did. Miss i mean.
Did you see me?
I was there,
In the shadows.

Could I perhaps maybe if I and what if I then we can no - (25th Oct 2009)

and I want to...

.. Hold your hand, I want to stroke your hair and wipe your tears away. I want to be there and see you smiling, I want to listen to you tell me about your day about the hot guy at the bus stop and let me get jealous even though you've come home to me. and always do. and you won't ever stop kissing me either and I pretend to get annoyed when really it makes me feel alive inside, everytime. and I want to see you in the moonlight, and kiss you as the sun sets, and hold you through the sun rise surrounded by the morning dew. I want to go for a drive with you, and get lost and have to sleep in the car because we just can't be bothered to find ourselves again. I want to be amazed you're mine when I see you in the street but you haven't seen me yet. Just try to understand what you might see in me and what you might like for dinner tonight. I'm crazy. For you. and I don't want it to make sense. I slip and I drift, lost my glasses then you give me a direction and it'll all make sense again.

fall in love with you.

Snowflake dreams - (20th Dec 2009)

Dreaming in snowflakes,
In crystalline perfection.
Dreaming in snowflakes,
Encompassing the word;
Beauty and joy and love.
of memory and youth.

So why does this dream fall,
and how can it lay with such grace.
In red, green and blue.
Such my sweet...
Lets lay trapped,
In your snowflake fortress.

I never knew what I should call you.. - (11th Jan 2010)

You had to;

- Shout so I could hear you.
- Smile as you fell asleep.
- Lead me here, so I couldn't see past you.

I've got;

- New ear plugs.
- A black visor.
- A hand full of your heart (words).

I've tried to change my world,
In two days and 6 hours.
but your perfume lingers and groans,
but your lips are a burning imagine.

In a day, perhaps;

- I'll wake up with her kiss.
- Have lost contact.
- Found a magnetic opposite, a mirror.

In a year, maybe;

- I'll wake up to your lips.
- Be alive in a dreamscape.
- Have totally lost my mind.