My Masterpiece - 20th Sept 2011

I washed my hands again.. The fifth time tonight. I felt awful.. He'd taken over again and there wasn't anything of me.. She was only //////.. Barely of female structure, let alone of her own mind. I told myself to dispose of it all. I told myself to cry.

---
With the elation in your squeel, I knew I'd hit the right part. At least this time I had.. and i had it down.. Burnt for good. Not You!! NO, i'd never hurt you. id never hurt you.. youre too pretty.. Too perfect. too much to risk..
i walked you home.. WE held hands, and i kept telling you how it was how it'd been and would now be i remember you smiling back at me and i knew it was fine it was all ok i forget why i ever worried it was as though i had considered you again as though you had already forgotten had you how could you i had it down though dont worry it was mine to treasure you are MY treasure MINE with such a beautiful whimper such a perfect smile


So perfect on film... SO MINE.. Now run home, my masterpiece.

---- - 24th July 2011

CouldIbe...

Can I maybe still hold your hand. Even when you're angry at me- even if we part. and then at night, can I kiss you good night. Even still... What if I see you out with friends, may I say hello. Get a quick cuddle; feel your hold; smell your hair. and if I travelled for hours just to bump into you, anywhere, would you mind. In 8 months and a day, can I fly you to Spain. Will you let me ask again. How about today? or tomorrow..

thereforyou.

Our Little Boy - 12th Feb 2011

There once was a little boy.
One day he found a box..
Inside, a snow globe, and note.
It simply read:
'Everytime you shake this, you'll be
reminded just how wonderful the
world is, and be happy again -
but. Somewhere, someone else
will be taking your pain.'

The little boy wanted to throw it away.
But this scared him, incase someone
else used it. So he kept it.
Locked it away in the box,
in the back of his wardrobe.

One day, many years later. Our boy,
he's grown up. With a family now.
Driving home an evening, they have
an accident. His family die, and he's left
completely alone.
For fear of his own mind, to save himself
from tears, from this torture.
He searches, and he finds that box.
With that snow globe, and our note.
He sits in anguish, and clinging to hope
begins to shake...
but nothing happens... and never does.


Eventually, this embittered old man -
Our little boy.. He meets his maker..
A similarly misanthropic old man, now.
He asks why the globe didn't work,
demands an answer.
'In time, perhaps you'll realise
what you did...'

Learned - 7th Dec 2010

I love you.
and,
I can never hold your hands for long enough.
I'm dreaming again,
While awake in your imaginary arms.
I've been rubbed out again,
I've walked into the distance.
You said I was the broken man,
Explained to me what I do wrong.
Does it help to know I cry
that I'm not so like you believe.
Does it help to know I fall down,
that I'm not so strong,
and that I need you too...

Right now - 22 August 2010

The loneliest and hardest moments are when you realise just who you are; Where you come from, and what you have to offer.

R.I.P. - 14th July 2010

Death should have no space.
No room to be. To carry its motion.
It shouldn't hold place aside for loved ones.
Why do we allow it to construct,
Give it chance to take us whole.
Who gave it permission.
Who gave it this chance.
It can lye beside ME,
Making its mark and feeding all the while.

but leave them be.

Porcelain Princess - 8th June 2010

Beat me.
Hit me.
Show me how
pretty I can be.

Shout at me.
Tell me true.
Am I really
worthy of you.

Touch me.
Rape me.
Show me just
what I'm worth.

Get drunk.
Get high.
Get to slap me
around on the fly.

On the floor.
I cannot lie.
On the floor.
I sleep so perfect.
My porcelain skin,
it won't crack today.