We can - 06.12.2018

I just can't do it,
  Give out all this love.
And I just can't do it,
  Give away another piece of myself.

And lifes been moving way too fast,
and for way too long.
  And I just can't do it,
Yet you've drawn me into you.

I just can't do it.
  This struggle grips me harder
whenever I try to shake it.
  The struggle it becomes me.

I just can't do it.
  Not fight to be.
    I simple cannot do it,
For I want a you and me.

Could You - 25.06.18

Could you,

Maybe if I wish enough, and put my time into it. Should I create a dream board of those pictures, the things I want. An image burned in mind, an artist's take on what could be. Would we be painted in oils, or acrylics, or watercolour. Maybe just a print, in simple black and white.
The clouds were beautiful today, they played in dashes of reds, blues, greens. Every colour I cannot see, but I know are there. Their graceful wander about the skies only frees minds to another place altogether. To help take us away in that moment. I ask so subtly, so quietly you barely can hear.

Could you, could you be my cloud. Let me drift away in a moment together. See where the winds take us. Live.

So I wait - 11th May 2017

I can only whisper
and wonder
where you've gone, and what
it is you're up to.
I'm scared
I'm petrified
of what you're doing.
Why you aren't with me.

It's no way to breath, to be alive.
It can't be fair
to only just survive.

But I'll stand here still.
I'll listen to how terrible I am.
Tell me what I've done wrong.
Take the punishment as it comes
thick and fast from each
and every side.

I want to wrap us up,
I need to look after, and to
care for you. Be allowed to
cherish you.
But I stand up and just
do something else so wrong
at the next turn.
So maybe I'll stay sitting, and I'll
try to keep myself quiet.

My feet aren't carrying me
away anymore, so I sit. I wait.
I don't think I'll understand
what went so wrong so fast.
What tore it apart so fast.
So I sit. I wait.

Canvas of a man - 07.11.16

I was your one love,
I made you a future, and we gave it breath.
We raised up and above, and grew
to enslave ourselves. Chained together.
Nothing is terrible. Nothing could be a lie.
Never I haven't cried.

Time was a poison in my mind,
it took hold and ripped away at me.
All I had was your hand,
and I gripped it as hard as I could.
I've never been strong enough,
and now I'm just 'your past'.

I became the scattering of ash,
that memory of what was once.
You locked me away, let me wither
and die, until you had, had enough.
Now I'm falling from your hands,
the wind will carry me away.

I was only ever a memory.
I was only always a dream.
A figment a figure a fiction,
of a real man.
Of the person you needed just then.
I was never real.

Now I sit around lonely,
I'm waiting for another she.
Her eyes- cast vision upon my flesh,
her mouth- to create my memories.

Without,
I'm just an empty canvas.

The third of October

I'm unsure of the certainty,
Without guise with which to guide,
Or whether one is true, but certainly
one is abused and willing to hide.

I heard the torture throughout the years,
lies and the hurt; The pain and the tears.
I watched the stars shine bright,
as each moon passed its light.

You'd ride up tall, making sure
the truth wouldn't fall.
Your you was clearer and cleaned,
Sure to fool, but not foul. Neither he,
nor she, not them or I would be there to deny.

Now.

Why whisper for longer,
the works of a loner.
Heard through nothing but fallacy,
This slowly dying maleficent home.

This slowly dying magnificent hole.

The slow and dying of malice and woe.

shame - 26th November 2015

I'll grow you from the trees
from the grass and from the moss.

I'll tear you part from pieces
and create a spark to set alight to all.

I am everything.
I will bare the control and power over all.

Please stand against and push
and fight all you can.

I'll crush your fledgling heat.
You'll bleed from the same eyes you
scorned me with before.

I'll bury your tortured and crippled
aging body amongst the growth.
I'll let you be another...

I'll let your children grow and exist and to find love

for my job is to take everything away from them and destroy them one little piece at a time and to put everything on display for your horror and pain

Where are you now?- 22nd November 2014

Her hair a dirty blonde,
the gentle breeze caressing it in peace.
Piecing brown eyes, though; dark eye
shadow,
mascara to match; lipstick
of passion.
Our passion.
Her pastel painted skin was it, the draw.

She's a blur to me, as she passes.
I focus ahead, i focus ahead. i tried to.
focus ahead.

We had a dance, a beautiful dance.
Amongst the undergrowth we tore,
one and at each-other.
We broke dreams, lived together a fantasy,
vanquished love and morals to be
together.

I was in love
I was in love
Weren't we in love?


My heating is on at 17:15,
my room feels warm when I finish work.
i like that.
Her dry bloodied body must be cold now, I
don't like that... and the nights are
turning in.
My heating comes on at 17:15-
It's the same time we met. You know that,
though.

No one ever thanks me...
For touching; being a part of; influencing;
creating beauty, in their lives.

i'm just left to be alone.

i don't think i like this solitude.

It allows my mind to run drift float drag
me down...

and i guess i must just miss you.
Come home. Please.